The anti-I'm back Post

It's been such a long time since I wrote anything. I really have not felt like keeping up with this blog. I'm not going to write one of those "I'm back" blogs because i'm lazy and won't follow through. Blogging seems 2013.

I have not felt like writing in my blog. I’m sure the two people who actually read me have been immensely disappointed. A lot of things I want to write about, but I just don’t have the interest or discipline to write about them. I decided just to paste some comments I made about recent films I’ve seen. I keep a movie viewing notebook, and I jot down a few comments about each film I see. It may seem as if I like a lot of film, but I only rent/buy/watch movies I am fairly certain I’ll enjoy. Here are those films:

THE CAT’S MEOW ***
a good recreation of the period
Bogdaovich maintains a nice claustrophobic atmosphere
Jennifer Tilly and Joanna Lumley are standouts

LOVE AND LEARN (1947) ***
too silly, but it is amusing for a Sunday afternoon (the time I saw it)
Janis Paige is wonderful.

MADELEINE (1950?) ***
too long
Ann Todd is too old for the part. She looks more like she could be the character’s mother
direction that gets the mood and builds tension
script is literate and the courtroom scenes are done well

THEY ALL LAUGHED (1980? 81?) **1/2
brilliant set pieces, but the pieces never gel into one cohesive narrative
too much of Ritter’s schtick
weak script

DEFENDING YOUR LIFE (1991) ***
funny, incisive, but it doesn’t reach its full potential
wanted more of Lee Grant
Meryl Streep is luminous

A PLACE FOR LOVERS (I’ll guess 1969) **
gorgeous scenery
there is absolutely no story; most of the movie is Dunaway and Mastroianni posing
one good scene: Dunaway is driving through the mountains like a madwoman
so odd it holds a certain satisfaction

50/50 **1/2
Joseph Gordon Levitt and Anjelica Huston give Oscar-calibre performances
the film is too gimmicky
never settles for one tone or allows the emotion to speak for itself
Seth Rogen sinks it. He’s an annoying presence. He’s not amusing, attractive, charismatic, or talented.

ALBERT NOBBS ***1/2
Glenn Close hits all the right notes. I never felt she was commenting on her character the way PSH did in CAPOTE
the script has so many neat touches: humour, humanising minor characters
Janet McTeer and Pauline Collins are a joy to watch

ANOTHER THIN MAN ***1/2
clever mystery
Myrna Loy is excellent
witty and sophisticated.
liked this better than the original

SHADOW OF THE THIN MAN (forties?) ***
too many characters
not as funny as ANOTHER THIN MAN
still entertaining for a lazy day

BEYOND ***/12
Noomi Rapace owns every scenes she’s in
Tehilla Blad as the younger version is heartbreaking
predictable story given more depth

TOMBOY ***1/2
held my interest from beginning to end.
child actor is phenomenal
the bathtub scene was not necessary

FOOTNOTE ***1/2
biting and acidic comedy that resonates
the small office scene is one of the best scenes I’ve watched in a while. Every second was perfect.
liked that a lot was left unspoken

THE KID WITH A BIKE **1/2
the kid is insufferable
The film never answers why viewers should give a shit about this child, or why the hairdresser tolerates this behaviour
tonal issue: too much fantasy coupled with stark realism
the ending is very strong though.

DECOY BRIDE ***
good performances
doesn’t always go the predictable route which makes it enjoyable
pleasant enough romantic comedy

LE HAVRE ***1/2
highly amusing character driven comedy
wanted it to go on longer than it did. A bit too short for me.

KLUTE (1971) ***/12
Fonda deserved her Oscar for this. She owns every scene she’s in.
they cast an actor who just screams “he did it!” every time he appears
script focuses on characters rather than the plot

MY SISTER EILEEN (1942?) ***
Rosalind Russell is a great comedic actress
supporting actors can be entertaining.
Janet Blair as the sister is given little to do.

THE BIG CHILL (1983) **
too much damn music. IT never stops.
the writing is so superficial.
the film never quiets down to let us get to know the characters
Glenn Close comes out best, but her character is not well written.

THE BIG EASY ***1/2
Ellen Barkin is outstanding. Dennis Quaid is very good.
moody script and direction add to the film
the ending is such a letdown. Badly choreographed, directed, edited. It mars a near perfect film.

ANOTHER HAPPY DAY ***
Ellen Barkin should have been nominated for this film.
some of the supporting characters are not fleshed out and the actors go over the top
Ezra Miller’s character has too much screen time.

AMER ***1/2
stylish to the max
so many great images
interesting take on the giallos of the seventies

A CHORUS LINE **
Allyson Reed is fatally miscast. She can’t sing. She can’t act. She can’t dance. She can barely get out of a cab.
too much emphasis on the love story
Vicki Frederick and Audrey Landers give the best performances even if it’s obvious Landers can’t dance.

HUSTLE (1975?) ***
a large number of fantastic set pieces. So many scenes work.
A number of scenes could be cut (Borgnine and the hostage scenes for ex.)
liked the hard boiled noir feel
Reynolds is weak in a very important scene towards the end
Deneuve is Deneuve and that’s always a good thing.
Reynolds is so sexy in this.

YOUNG ADULT ***1/2
Theron is flawless. She also should have been nominated.
Oswalt is solid as well.
much better than Cody’s JUNO which I was not a fan of.
does not have Ellen Page which is a major bonus
Cody does not take the easy way out with the lead character.

Finding very little comfort

I have no one I can confide in; no one I can share my sorrows and my pains. I’m always the one people go to to unload their problems. I’m the one that makes people feel better. I’m the one who comforts and soothes and tells everyone that everything will be okay. When I need that same comfort, I have no one to turn to. I’m not whining about it. It makes me sad that I have to deal with problems by myself.

As much as my family loves me, they make any problem into a big ordeal, or make it about them. I can’t abide that. Most of my friends (online or offline) use me as their unpaid life coach and therapist, but the reverse can’t happen. Sometimes, I don’t trust the person to handle what I have to say, or he/she can’t be depended on to keep it secret, or I say nothing as not to upset anyone. I’m an expert at saying nothing so as not to rock the boat. That will be hard to believe for some people, but it’s true.

As opinionated and passionate as I am, I often only give voice to a percentage of what I’m feeling because I know if I really let loose, damage would be done. I’m always very conscious of that. That’s not to say that I don’t forget and go for the jugular at times (usually a result of anger at myself for remaining quiet and/or being livid at a perceived injustice), but overall, I rarely say what’s on mind. Amusing because most of my relatives say too much so maybe I’m just reacting to being annoyed with their behavior.

Difficult for me to trust people enough to tell them how I’m feeling. It takes a long time for me to confide in someone, but I’ve learned that I don’t always choose the right person. Recently, my family endured a truly horrific event, and I needed someone with whom I could talk about my pain and anger. I have no one so it makes this trauma so much worse because I have to keep everything bottled up inside.

Laziness has its perks.

There is one comfort to the fact that I have not been keeping up with the writing for this blog. I now know the people who lie to me when they tell me that they’ve read my latest blog entry. Code phrase for those who actually want to be honest about reading this: Glenda Jackson

Twitter part 1

I think about all the people I’ve met through twitter, and how many of them I still talk to after my year and a half on twitter. So much has changed from the very beginning. I joined to follow @sometipsforlife and @supercheyne (formerly @spudcheyne) and now I’m following 395 people. I know some of them and others I don’t remember why I’m following them. As in life, people come and go. You drift apart, and you realize you have nothing in common or you come to the decision that you just don’t like the person. I have a few people I really don’t like, but I follow them because it’s less drama. In the past, I would keep following people I didn’t like or was not interested in simply so I would not have to engage in the “why did you unfollow me?” drama. “I think you’re a drunken self loathing piece of shit who I can’t stand” is not something I want to say to someone. Yes, I know. It shocks some people that I wouldn’t say that, but I’ve learned (although the lesson doesn’t always stick) that twitter is so insignificant to the rest of my life. Why spend so much energy on someone I most likely will never meet or ever want to meet? That’s not to say that people on twitter have not made a substantial impact on my life. They have, but I’ve grown weary of engaging in twitter drama. It serves no purpose.

I’m not an angel. I’ve been an asshole, and I’ve been unfairly labeled as an asshole. Once you’ve engaged in a twitter war, everything you tweet is ready to be interpreted as an attack. Nothing I can do about that. A substantial number of people only follow me because they wait for me to say something controversial or engage in another twitter war. Would I take back some of the things I said? OF course, but I also would not take back some of the things I’ve said. Some people are indeed self-destructive scum and I see no point in saying otherwise although I have learned that not saying anything can be a powerful tool. I’m not the center of someone else’s universe, and in the end, what I say about/to them doesn’t matter so why get my self worked up about someone I have no respect for? I just ignore them if I can. Some people you just can’t escape, but I grit my teeth and refuse to write something that will cause chaos.

It takes a lot for me to unfollow someone I’ve followed for a long time. I always hold on to the hope that we can somehow go back to the time when our twitterman/twitter relationship was beneficial to both of us. I unfollowed someone recently because a majority of his tweets were about his affection for Chris Brown. We had a nice and casual twitterlationship but I just could not get past supporting someone who beats up women. There was the man who I had developed a bond with over the last year and a half. I thought he was the sweetest, most thoughtful man. We would engage in discussions on various topics, and we respected each other’s opinions mainly because we completely agreed. When he took a job in direct opposition to those beliefs, I became the enemy, and he attacked when I tweeted something I had said many times before, and something he had agreed with. I was shocked by his response, and it made me reevaluate how I’ve used twitter and how I’m really connected to people on twitter. I can never look at him the same way again. Every positive feeling I had for him ended that day. It shows me that loyalty to someone isn’t always rewarded when your loyalty doesn’t serve his bottom line. Threw me for a definite loop.

Proud gay man

I’ve noticed that if I publicly state that I’m proud to be a gay man a lot of people are unnerved by this. If I were to say that I had decided to have straight sex, those very people would be overcome with joy. I would be congratulated for taking that step. You can’t be considered a good gay if you don’t have sex with women. Sorry, not happening. My sexuality is not about rejecting or sleeping with women. It’s about confirming my love and desire for men. I’m not a self loather who thinks having sex with women makes me more masculine. I’m proud to be a gay men. I’m proud of my passion and connection to other men. I do not need to prove anything by having sex with women. I know by saying this that I’ll run the risk of being called a woman hater, but it’s not about hate. It’s about being tired of heterosexual sex being a prerequisite for being a gay man. I don’t understand gay men who think that way and I certainly can’t respect them.

Logan McCree and the horror of the "gay"

I’ve been asked what I think of McCree going straight or saying the vagina “feels right.” Some have been outraged. Others think he’s wonderful for being “beyond labels.” I think self loathing is an adjective that describes him especially if you read and watch some of his previous comments. My main reaction is that I can’t be bothered. I’m not going to waste time on someone who puts out anti-gay messages. Don’t think what he has said is anti-gay? Read his remarks as if they are a testimonial at an ex-gay retreat. How many of his supporters would champion those testimonials? Watch his interviews where he does nothing but put down gay culture (as if gay men belong to one monolithic culture). Here’s another thing to consider: if public figures coming out is so important to young gay men, why can’t the reverse be true? Why isn’t it destructive to see someone like McCree spout anti-gay rhetoric, give his “vagina feels so right” interview to a woman who states that vaginal intercourse is the only sex that really matters, and then say that straight sex is what feels so right to him? Why wouldn’t that be harmful to gay men who saw him as a role model? Yes, some will say he’s still a role model for not being boxed in by sexuality, but how many of them would say the same about Exodus ex-gay testimonials? There is always talk about the destructive images of barebacking in porn, but what about anti-gay images? Do some people only think images matter when it serves their agenda? Apparently so from some of the positive comments from McCree’s remarks.

That brings me to gay men/queer men/gay men who won’t say they’re gay who do nothing but denigrate gay men and gay culture. “Gay men are so dramatic. Gay men can’t be trusted. Gay men are shallow. Gay men are cheaters. Gay men are so weak.” Replace gay with black or Muslim. How many of those people would say those things about African-Americans, Muslims, or any other group? It would be considered offensive, but to bad mouth gay men is a badge of honor for a lot of these men. The unspoken undercurrent is that the speaker is so much better than the pathetic gay men and that straight culture is far superior. There are assholes of every sexual identity. There are assholes of every sex and gender, but for some, “gay” is again the unspeakable horror. I have also found that most of those who publicly eschew labels of their sexuality tend to be the very people who label men as “gay” so they can denigrate them. In the past week, I counted 17 tweets like this, and except for one, all were from “no labels” or men who claim to be fours on the Kinsey scale.