Sunday, 14 February 2010

MY lack of a coming Out

I never came out because I was never in. I never doubted that I was gay. I never played the girlfriend game. I never pretended to be straight or bisexual. Have a feeling the Antonio Banderas posters in my room were big clues that I was gay. My family always supported me. There were no tears, no “is it my fault?” moments. Never bullied at school. I was a member of the French Club, Future Teachers of America Club (must have had a crush on a boy to join that club), Choir, Yearbook, Volleyball Team, debating team, Treasurer, German Club, Honours Society, etc. My straight classmates were always supportive. If there were homophobic students, I never saw or felt it.

The only problems I had from others came from gay men who were angry that I didn’t have to come out. They resented how easy being gay was for me. There was also resentment that I dated boys right away. I know some gay men feel they are more gay because they had sex with a woman or women and rejected straight sex so they are better gays. Never slept with a woman. Never had a desire to sleep with a woman. Women are wonderful, but they are not for me. Too often, I hear gay men use sleeping with woman as a badge of honour as if that makes them better than a gay man who never doubted his sexuality. We all come to the same realisation so why is one path better than the other?

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