Not a day goes by where I don’t see images of straight sex or someone in the gay porn industry tweeting about how great pussy is (using pussy as that’s how it’s described). A lot of this is because so many straight men do gay porn so gay porn has become watered down. I’ve seen more images of nude women since watching gay porn. I wonder if straight men see images of gay sex all the time when they’re reading straight porn blogs. Don’t think so. They wouldn’t stand for it so why should gay men? Gay men are constantly being told that being gay isn’t good enough. Being gay isn’t normal. Being gay is okay, but being straight or porn bisexual is so much better. You’re only gay because you haven’t met the right woman. It’s one thing when this comes from anti-gay bigots or g4pers. It’s another when it comes from gay men or an industry that caters to gay men.
I like being gay. I like everything about it: the touch of a man, his cock, his ass, the way he smells, the way gay sex feels, and the way I feel around a man. I adore it. I don’t want to dilute it. I don’t want to see it as less than because it isn’t. It’s who I am. I am not gay because I hate women. Yes, the idea of sex with a woman disgusts me. The disgust is a result of having straight SHOVED IN MY FACE all the time. Most women aren’t bothered by that statement because they’re disgusted by certain sex acts as well. Women are more sensible when it comes to sex. Men not so much. While straight men are allowed to feel disgusted (as long as they’re not using that disgust as an excuse to remove our rights), gay men are constantly being told that we’re women haters or heterophobic. No, I’m gay. I’m not someone who feels the need to talk about pussy or sleep with women to prove I’m a psuedostraight guy and be part of the in crowd. I don’t want to be straight just as straight guys don’t want to be gay.
- If you would never talk about the joys of butt sex to a straight man, why do you feel it’s okay to talk about pussy to a gay man? The consideration for someone's sexual identity should go both ways.
- If straight porn refuses to have the fantasy killed, why should gay porn constantly destroy the fantasy by reinforcing the notion that being gay is something you can change by meeting a good woman? (see my post about g4p where I touch briefly on the homophobic publicity surrounding Shifting Gears for ex.)
- When a gay porn performer does a straight scene, they always insult gay sex, say how a pussy is so much better, and gay sex is much more disease ridden. Don’t believe me? Use google. I’ll give you a headstart. Read Arpad Miklos’s interview on The Sword about his straight scene. Can you imagine a straight porn performer insulting his straight fans like that? Neither can I.
- Only in gay porn so some companies start off scenes by having the men talk about how much they love pussy. Sean Cody is great at that. 2 minutes of pussy talk will go by before the straight guys can have unsexy, acrobatic sex. (won't call it gay sex as that would be an insult to proud gays who don't feel the need to talk about pussy just to have sex).
- I’m sorry if I’m bothered by “Gay” men who sleep with women. I am. I can’t help it. It’s judgmental, but when you’re bombarded with images of straight sex, films showing that gay men sleep with women all the time, being told you’re a pervert for being gay, the last thing you want to hear is “gay” men telling you how great pussy is. What is wrong with wanting gay porn or discussions with gay friends to be free of images straight sex?
Even on vacation, I can’t resist the urge to rant. Going to Jamie Oliver's ITalian restaurant in Oxford.
Hi Chris!
ReplyDeleteThe main difference between straight and gay porn is that straight men are the majority of the straight demographic, while gay porn viewers range from women (straight + lesbians) to gay and bisexual men - so there's alittle more range for what can be done in "gay" porn (yes, unfortunately, that means it's pretty common to see pussy here and there). But I do agree with you about an underlying sense of homophobia in gay porn. The only reason for that I can think of is the general outlook on gay men by society as a whole. The labels and generalizations concerning us (like "twink", "bottom", "top", "bear", etc..) need to be demolished in order for people's one-dimensional ideas to change. Also, it would help if a performer was an actual PERFORMER; not the stereotypical "porn star" guy (but that's really another subject all together).
xoH
PS: Have an amazing vacation!!
You articulate so many things I want to say that are in my head, but I can't figure out how to say them. You hit all of my nails on the head.
ReplyDeleteBut reasons why I don't like bisexuality:
1) it lowers the value of my sexuality. It's almost like a cop out, if you know what I mean. These guys want to preach acceptance, but they've accepted so many people at the expense of some of their own. You love and praise straight men, but you loathe gay men.
2) also, it's like when you go to a gay bar, and there's a straight guy, and he gets pissed when you hit on him. It's like our whole lives, we've played a guessing game, and it hasn't gotten any easier.
Have you read Devon Hunter's blog? I think you'd like it.