Sunday, 22 May 2011

Proud gay man

I’ve noticed that if I publicly state that I’m proud to be a gay man a lot of people are unnerved by this. If I were to say that I had decided to have straight sex, those very people would be overcome with joy. I would be congratulated for taking that step. You can’t be considered a good gay if you don’t have sex with women. Sorry, not happening. My sexuality is not about rejecting or sleeping with women. It’s about confirming my love and desire for men. I’m not a self loather who thinks having sex with women makes me more masculine. I’m proud to be a gay men. I’m proud of my passion and connection to other men. I do not need to prove anything by having sex with women. I know by saying this that I’ll run the risk of being called a woman hater, but it’s not about hate. It’s about being tired of heterosexual sex being a prerequisite for being a gay man. I don’t understand gay men who think that way and I certainly can’t respect them.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Logan McCree and the horror of the "gay"

I’ve been asked what I think of McCree going straight or saying the vagina “feels right.” Some have been outraged. Others think he’s wonderful for being “beyond labels.” I think self loathing is an adjective that describes him especially if you read and watch some of his previous comments. My main reaction is that I can’t be bothered. I’m not going to waste time on someone who puts out anti-gay messages. Don’t think what he has said is anti-gay? Read his remarks as if they are a testimonial at an ex-gay retreat. How many of his supporters would champion those testimonials? Watch his interviews where he does nothing but put down gay culture (as if gay men belong to one monolithic culture). Here’s another thing to consider: if public figures coming out is so important to young gay men, why can’t the reverse be true? Why isn’t it destructive to see someone like McCree spout anti-gay rhetoric, give his “vagina feels so right” interview to a woman who states that vaginal intercourse is the only sex that really matters, and then say that straight sex is what feels so right to him? Why wouldn’t that be harmful to gay men who saw him as a role model? Yes, some will say he’s still a role model for not being boxed in by sexuality, but how many of them would say the same about Exodus ex-gay testimonials? There is always talk about the destructive images of barebacking in porn, but what about anti-gay images? Do some people only think images matter when it serves their agenda? Apparently so from some of the positive comments from McCree’s remarks.

That brings me to gay men/queer men/gay men who won’t say they’re gay who do nothing but denigrate gay men and gay culture. “Gay men are so dramatic. Gay men can’t be trusted. Gay men are shallow. Gay men are cheaters. Gay men are so weak.” Replace gay with black or Muslim. How many of those people would say those things about African-Americans, Muslims, or any other group? It would be considered offensive, but to bad mouth gay men is a badge of honor for a lot of these men. The unspoken undercurrent is that the speaker is so much better than the pathetic gay men and that straight culture is far superior. There are assholes of every sexual identity. There are assholes of every sex and gender, but for some, “gay” is again the unspeakable horror. I have also found that most of those who publicly eschew labels of their sexuality tend to be the very people who label men as “gay” so they can denigrate them. In the past week, I counted 17 tweets like this, and except for one, all were from “no labels” or men who claim to be fours on the Kinsey scale.

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Labels

Very short blog because I’m a lazy ass:
I find labels comforting and a source of power. I don’t get it when guys say “I’m beyond labels.” What exactly does that mean? In most cases, you’re either fucking men, women, or both. I’m baffled why gay men have such a difficult time saying, “I’m gay.” I have little patience with the “no labels” guys. I know I’m in trouble when I hear that phrase. They’re either bisexuals or they are the type of gay guy who hates anything gay, only wants to hang out with straight guys, and eventually tries to go straight unsuccessfully of course since self loathers are inept at everything but finding alleys, bars, and bathrooms. I want gay men who are proud of who they are, gay men who find it liberating to use the gay label just don’t label me a separatist. I’m beyond labels.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Gay Clubs and the Straight Women who love them

There was a question on Formspring recently about banning straight girls from gay clubs. Everyone was aghast. How could you discriminate against the straight women! Gay men should know what discrimination is so why would you treat women the way gay men are treated? I had a different reaction. I’m all for banning straight girls. Every time the police are called to my local gay clubs/bars, it’s because a drunken straight girl has started a fight, attacked the bartender or gotten pissed because she couldn’t get a gay man drunk enough to fuck her. Not one gay men has been arrested in the 3 I’ve been legally able to go to bars. It’s always been the straight girls. For one week, the main gay club had a no straight women policy. You know what? No fights, no injuries, no police cars, no shutting down the club early. The straights and some gay men fought that rule so now we’re back to allowing drunken straight girls (usually named Jen, Laurie or Tiffany) into the clubs, and the drama continues. What does this have to with supporting gay men? Showing gay men affection? These clubs are designed for gay men. They’re spaces that gay men can come together to drink, dance, make out, and yes, hook up. Yet what do these clubs spend most of their time on? Cleaning up after straight girls. Worrying about when the next drunken straight girl will go off. Perhaps, Ohio just has an abundance of drunken straight girls. The straight girls in other states may be wonderful  & trouble free. I have my doubts as I follow at least 3 gay men on twitter who’ve been injured because a straight girl started a fight in a gay club. Why are we worrying about the straight girls? Why do the gay men who go to these clubs have to tolerate this ridiculousness?

Yes, I know. I’ll get the discrimination argument, but why must gay clubs be open to straight women at all times? Straight women have so many options. They can go almost any place they want. Gay men do not have that same ability. Can you imagine 2 gay men going into Hooters or a sports bar and holding hands or making out? How many gay men feel comfortable going to clubs that cater to mostly straight men? We have gay clubs so that gay men can feel comfortable, feel a part of a larger gay community, be with other men. There is nothing greater than being in a room with gay men, and feeling the energy, the smells, the way we interact with other, etc. Straight women intrude upon this, and it pisses me off. If it were an occasional thing, it’d be different, and I’m not talking about the straight women who are wonderful & do not cause trouble (although I would prefer to have their admittance limited to certain nights) but I should be allowed to go to a gay club & not have to share my experiences with straight women every time I go. I don’t go to women’s only club meetings & try to make the event all about me. I allow that there are certain activities & events that should be for women only. Women should have places where they can go and be together without men interfering as we usually do.

I’m gay, but I’m not a half woman because I’m gay. I’m a MALE. I am also not one of those men who desperately wants to be seen as normal so straight men and women will like me for being more straight than gay. “Look at us! We have 2 dogs, a cozy home, like to spend our evenings in, bake cookies for our neighbors.” There is nothing wrong with that if that is who you are, but if your only reason for being that way is to get straight approval, I find that attitude pathetic. Live your life for yourself not to blend in and be “accepted” by the straights. I don’t play the normal gay card. One. I bake for no one, and two, I don’t see blending in as a good thing. I’m in favor of everyone maintaing their own distinct identities. Three: I don’t perform for straight people. I never look for their approval of who I am and what I do nor do I want to be put in the position of giving approval to heterosexuals. I’m gay and that does not mean I’m looking to be a straight woman’s accessory while she’s between relationships. “Look at Suzie! She’s brought the best of the Spring 2011 collection of gay male friends to the party.”

I should be able to have a few spaces in my life where I can go and be surrounded by gay men & and have no outside interference from straight men and women. Don’t see why this is is so shocking. I’m not asking for separate societies. I’m asking for a room of my own so to speak: a place where I can go & be proud to be gay without diluting it for the consumption of others.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

More of the best in gay porn 2010 (with a few worst of thrown in for good measure)

More of the Best:
Paul Wagner--An out gay man in gay porn (says something when you have to point this out) who started on Sean Cody & has graduated to becoming one of the most underrated and consistently excellent performers. Always a smile, always a great performance, and he shows through his performances why a gay man doing gay porn is so important.

Hard Friction 2 and Hard Friction in Australia: I can’t tell if Hard Friction 2 is a great collection of scenes because I never get past the scene with Steve Cruz and Alessio Romero--two of my absolute favorites. They devour each other, and it’s a sensual flip-flip that I find so hot. There is nothing hotter to me than two guys who perform like they are into the fucking. Cruz and Romero could just talk (fully clothed) in a scene and I would get off because I find them so hot, but this scene is incredible. Cruz’s husband, Bruno Bond has an audition scene with a performer, and the way Bond and Cruz talk to him, tease him, and then Bond’s foreplay is slow and steady, and I can hardly bear it. I know Cruz takes over in the scene, but I never get that far. Bruno’s performance turns me on so much that this is the scene that prompted more sexual fantasies than any other scene. I’m so in lust with Romero, Cruz, and Bond.

Lex Sabre:Yes, he has a large penis. Yes, he’s uncut. Yes, he is a great top, but what I appreciate about him is the self-deprecating humor he shows in his scenes as well as on Twitter. Nothing hotter than a hunk with a sense of humor about himself. When Sabre is the top in a scene, he connects to the partner. He makes eye contact. He is an attentive top and caring top. Sabre has a recent scene on Suite703 that is probably the best I’ve seen from them in a while. Sabre looks incredible, and the scene has great rhythm, and Sabre turns in a fabulous performance as a bottom. Is there anything hotter than seeing an uncut dick loaded with cum?

A theme is emerging here, and it’s that I respond to scene where there’s a connection between the performers. I don’t respond well to mechanical fucking or where one performer (usually the g4per) shows no interest, and maintains the g4p distance from the partner. I want to see two (or more) men fucking in gay porn like they never want to stop having gay sex. I want gay sex to come across in gay porn as the greatest thing in the world--the way it is in real life.

Kennedy Carter and Kyle King--They did a Hot House live show where they chatted a bit, made out a bit, and then fucked. What made this scene work? The scene showed their personalities. It started off with them chatting, being playful, making out, and then the sex. There was real build up. They had such great chemistry and you really don’t see this kind of chemistry when the performers are bi (fake bi or not) or straight. **A minor gripe to the man who kept interrupting the scene to tell one or both of the performers to move or to do something. Shut the fuck up! Performers know what to do, and even if they don’t, I prefer a messy scene to a great scene interrupted by some asshole who won’t shut up. Let performers do their job!**

Rod Daily and Trent Diesel who use condoms in their scenes with women. I don’t enjoy straight scenes. They don’t turn me on, and I prefer my performers to be gay but I applaud these two performers for using condoms when most other “bi” models and g4pers go condomless in their straight scenes--sending the message that gay sex is so much dirtier. A fuck you to the industry that promotes and encourages condomless straight scenes, but goes into hysterics when it’s a barebacking scene between two men even even when the testing procedures are the same.

Another worst of Arpad Miklos to not only doing a straight for pay scene, but doing it in a very homophobic way designed to show how much of a man he is because he can fuck a woman with the best of the straight men: something every gay men should be proud of apparently so I much be a poor gay man for finding that idea despicable. My masculinity is not based on whether I top or whether I bottom or whether I can fuck women (which I haven't and will never do). I’m a proud gay man who doesn’t need to cater to self loathing gays or dilute my sexuality to appeal to straights & gay men who see straight sex as the ultimate in masculinity. I don’t need to prove anything. Miklos not only did the scene in an offensive manner but he did it without a condom, and then badmouthed gay sex, gay porn studios, and gay fans. Way to maintain a fan base. OF course, he continued to get hired, but what if he had barebacked a man? All hell would have broken.

Shane Frost--underrated performer who always gives his best. Another out gay man who is usually cast as a bottom (and he does have an amazing ass), but he’s a versatile performer who knows what makes a scene work: connection to partner, touching, kissing, and making the viewer think this is the best sex he’s ever had. Frost does all this and more.

Humor is so rare in gay porn. So much of it is so humorless, but John Magnum in Bottoming 101 for CocksureMen managed to be informative and sexy while maintaining a wicked sense of humor.

Friday, 31 December 2010

The Best of Porn 2010

In no particular order:

Alex Slater--this performer is rarely spoken of or publicized on blogs, but he’s a furry chested marvel. I never get tired of watching him. He always performs as if he’s into it. His performances turn me on, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s so damn yummy.

Donny Wright--discovered him recently. He’s adorable and sexy and seems so humble. He has a fantastic body, but he never acts as if he knows it. That makes him hotter.

Spencer Reed--This man just oozes sex, and he’s probably the performer I’ve jacked off to the most. His Dominic Ford scene with Jake Steel is one of my all time favorites. He knows how to give a great performance.

Conner Habib--Another performer who instinctively knows what makes gay porn work. He’s furry, beautiful, and very intelligent. His blog is witty and thoughtful, and it puts mine to shame. He also manages to get his opinion across in a non-confrontational way which I admire since I’m rarely evenhanded. He’s also someone I make sure to check on Twitter because he is always entertaining and he offers the best books and films to read/watch.

Dominic Ford and CocksureMEn: the sites I frequented the most. All sites have good and bad scenes, but these two sites consistently strive to provide great gay sex scenes. They’re innovative, customer friendly, and they bring out the best in the performers. The Alessio Romero/Conner Habib CocksureMen scene is incredible. Simply one of the best scenes ever produced. Conner Habib has a fantastic scene with Chris Porter on DF, but I’d also recommend the scenes with Colby Keller, Spencer Reed, and Brad Star who DF helped me develop a crush on.

Devon Hunter: for his beauty inside and out; for his honesty and for having an amazing ass.

Tucker Scott:adorable, true to himself, a first rate performer, and someone who makes gp a better place.

Colby Keller: he has the most incredible blog; he’s drop dead sexy, and he’s another underrated performer.

Jeremy Bilding: Yes, he’s gorgeous, but he’s also thoughtful, entertaining, witty, and he has been extremely kind to me offline/online the past year. Not only that, but his rimming scene with Vance Winter is one of my all time favorites. He also makes his scene partners spontaneously cum which is a great trait to have in gay porn.

Jasun Mark and John Tegan: for their patience and for their understanding, but also for doing their damndest to bring the sexy and funny to gay porn.

Steve Cruz and Steve Bond: simply because they’re furry and gorgeous and I lust after both of them.

Jimmy Clay: don’t know what it is about this guy, but he gets me going.

Brandon Lewis: for a man that advertised himself as straight when he first arrived, he performs every gp scene with gusto. He never disappoints, and he does it with a great smile on his face.

Austin Wilde: beautiful just beautiful. Enough said.

Bret Wolfe: retired from porn, but still had to include him because I can’t imagine not putting him on a best of list.

Robert Chandler: Who hasn’t developed a further appreciation for foreskin since he came on the scene? Another gay friendly director/website owner. He also showed grace under pressure.

Pornobobbie: the biggest heart in the gay porn socialite world and someone you want to have as a friend.

Drew Cutler: I knew of him for non-porn reasons, but I’ve grown to like his scenes, and I like the interest he shows in his scene partners.

Alessio Romero:such a great role model for gay men. He shows sobriety can be sexy and he gives his all in every scene. He’s a sex machine & I can never get enough of him.

Collin O’Neal: offers great sex scenes between gay men. He’s a man who supports gay performers as well as his gay fans.


I have more Best of, but real life is calling so more best of later..

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

The Worst in Gay Porn 2010

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