27 questions I ponder when I'm high on ecstasy

1. Why are so many people (including gay men) so frightened by gay men getting together? If we want to have gays only meeting or dance nights, there’s an outcry that we’re discriminating against non-gays. These very same complainers never protest all women’s night or the daily straights only clubs, but somehow, gay men gathering together is something to be feared.
2. Why are some people so fascinated by gay men having straight sex? I find this so insulting, but I know some people get off on a gay man having sex with a woman. Not sure I want to know the reason. I’m sure it has something to do with wanting the gay men to be straight after all. Do straight men get asked if they’ve had sex with men? Are the very people encouraging gay on woman sex, encouraging straight guys to have gay sex? I highly doubt it. I’d bet money they’d never dare ask a straight porn star to have gay sex. (Once asked a gay pornblogger who encourages straight for pay if he ever encouraged straight porn stars to go gay. His response was “I could never do that. They’d get pissed off.”)
3. Why do people on the sidewalk jump when I yell “Shark!” as I’m driving past?
4. Why was Grease II considered a bomb? I like it so much more than the first one. I’m not usually into blondes, but Maxwell Caulfield is so hot in leather and on top of a motorcycle and who could resist “Cool Rider?”
5. Why when I grow to really like a show, do they do something so incredibly dumb that it angers me so much that I take them off my DVR or not buy the next season set? Thinking now of NURSE JACKIE. Didn’t read the reviews or comments about the show. I went into it fresh. I grew to really appreciate this sly and thought provoking series. So what happens? They get rid of the sexy, interesting gay character and replace him with the stereotypical, effeminate (nothing wrong there, but there are ONLY two types of gay men on T.V.: the “queeny” male and the repressed and closeted man). Producers of NURSE JACKIE: You suck! Why not get rid of the obnoxious doctor or the pill pusher?
6. Why are the very people who condemn drunk drivers (not something I condone) the very people who go through stop signs, red lights, and rush through residential streets to get to work?
7. 8. Why is bottoming considered so weak and “feminine” by the very gay men who are scared shitless to bottom? It would seem to me that it would be a strong man who bottoms since bottoming is so frightening for a lot of gay men.
8. 9. Why can’t I use the word, pee? I always say urinate. Or if I’m feeling exceedingly superior, I’ll say, “used the restroom.”
9. 10. Why do I freak out when I send out a tweet that has typos or missed words. Am I the only one who deletes the tweet to send out an edited one?
10. 11. Why do my favorites rarely win the Emmy or Oscar?
11. 12. Why am I on the 8 out at time Netflix plan when I rarely watch one disc a day?
12. 13. Why are my questions getting more and more trivial?
13. 14. Why do I attract people who are very literal-minded?
14. 15. Why do so many anonymous people on Formspring want to know the taste of my cum and want to know if my friends want to get fisted?
15. 16. Why do adult men get so worked up about Justin Beiber? It’s creepy.
16. 17. Why are studios still releasing films in full screen editions?

19 things that make me happy.

Since I’m usually bitching and moaning about something, I thought I’d list a few non-personal things that make me happy. I will try not to include anything sexual or porn related as I tend to rant about those two subjects

1. Going to my local arthouse to see films. I’m never happier than when the lights go down and the previews start. I go to see about 3 to 5 movies a week. I’d see more if most the films released weren’t so dreadful.
2. Reading. Reading has always been a great pleasure of mine. I read Encyclopedia Brown, Jackie Collins, and Agatha Christie mysteries in elementary and junior high school. MY family is full of English Lit majors: my two older cousins both have their doctorates in English Lit. My cousin Christian is majoring in British Lit and my sister minored in British Lit. I’ll read most anything, and one of my pleasures is buying books. I might even like buying books more than I like reading them.
3. John Gidding. The man is as close to perfect as possible. He’s gorgeous, intelligent, kind, funny, and I’d give anything to have a run down home that he could renovate. Curb Appeal: The Block is the thinking man’s porn. Gidding has the most beautiful hair and eyes, and I just want to feel his lips against mine.
4. Reading people’s best of lists. I get a kick out of seeing what someone enjoys reading or watching. I use these lists to make purchases. All comes down to number 6.
5. Making numbered lists make me happy.
6. Shopping. Whether it’s online or in a store, I get immense pleasure from spending money. I bought groceries at the health food store today, and it made me feel so fantastic. I spent more than I intended, and my mood brightened. Acquiring things gives me joy.
7. Watching Siskel and Ebert on YT or in their archives. Discussing movies is a real pleasure, but these two really cared about movies and they were intelligent and funny at the same time.
8. Being in NY. Walking to the Lincoln Plaza Cinemas; walking through Times Square at 3AM is so relaxing; going to see a musical or play; taking a cab to the Angelika; the moment I get off the plane and walk into LaGuardia, I feel a sense of relief and of being home.
9. Being in London. Same feeling of being at home. The Bfi; walking around Leicester square; visiting Jane Austen’s house; National Portrait gallery; walking past the London Eye at night, etc.
10. Listening to Cover to Cover with Jennifer Stone. It’s a 30 minute show on KPFA, and listening to it is my way of calming myself when something has pissed me off. Liberal, feminist, writer, creative, and a welcome relief from the mindless nonsense found on radio and television.
11. When I’m around gay men and only gay men. It’s nice to be in those situations where you’re not a straight girl’s best gay friend or having to make sure gay men don’t make a pass at your straight friend. I wish this happened more often: gays only events.
12. Alessio Romero and Conner Habib.
13. Watching sometipsforlife’s videos on YT.
14. Hole’s “Boys on the Radio” or anything by the Gin Blossoms.
15. Mangoes.
16. Being a smart ass.

GRIPES

1. Why is it when I go into the post office there’s only one person working the counter, but there’s another person who just wanders around doing absolutely nothing? So I have to wait behind the woman who can never decide what stamp she wants to put on one envelope. The post office wants to cut back delivery days, raise prices, but they’re perfectly fine with making sure no one wants to come into the post office because it takes 20 to 30 minutes to do one simple thing.
2. Gay men who use “faggot” as a term of endearment. I know some men do it to take the sting from the word, but I find the word offensive, and no amount of reclaiming the word is going to change that. People still die over “faggot.” It should not be used lightly which brings me to
3. People who tell me to get over something or to relax. Tell me you don’t agree. Tell me you have no opinion. Tell me you don’t have strong opinions. Don’t tell me to relax or get over it when I do have a strong opinion.
4. People that you genuinely like and want to follow on Twitter, but who retweet tweets from people you made a decision to unfollow because you can’t stand them. And it’s not just one retweet. IT’s an all day thing. Unfollowing becomes unnecessary since you can’t escape the unfollowed’s tweets.
5. People who insist on telling you the plot of the movie even though they know you want to watch it. When you refuse to listen, they’re extremely disappointed that they won’t be able to ruin it for you.
6. The mailman always comes two to three minutes before I’ve finished a Netflix disc I wanted to get in the mail so I have to hurry up and get dressed so I can chase the mailman down.
7. And the inevitable gay porn rant from me: Why is it when there’s a new hot guy in porn he’s rarely gay? He’s either straight or claims to be bi which means I’ll be inundated with pics of him having sex with women (try going to most gay porn news sites and not seeing straight sex photos) which kills any interest I may have in him. I pay for every site I belong to. I pay for every movie. I’m not into men having sex with women. Turns me off, but for some reason, most gay porn caters ONLY to those gay men turned on by straight sex. A group of people I’ve never met in real life, but they make up a large number of anonymous gay men on gay porn chat boards. And if he’s straight or bi, the gay porn stars will crazy for him. When a new performer is gay, there’s hardly a peep.
8. Gay men who will accuse me of hating bisexuals or straight men because I want my money to support gay positive materials. Straight men and women have no problem with this. In fact, some of have encouraged me to continue this practice, but some gay men are outraged by this. Call me a separatist because I want to support gay men first.
9. The people at the health food store who block the deli or food counters so you can’t see what is there. They’re so afraid you might see something before they get to it.
10. 10. Every time I go to a restaurant, a mother will bring her baby, and sit in the booth/table next to mine. Sometimes the baby is good, but I spend the rest of the time waiting for the baby to scream, cry, and be an annoying flesh monster. Some places are not for babies. Don’t know why this is so difficult to understand.
11. 11. People who don’t follow you on Twitter, but insist on DMing you so you can NEVER respond to their DM.
12. 12. People who take food from your plate without asking. If you want to try some of my food, ask me. I’ll give you some. Don’t just grab my food without asking.
13. 13. That I never have the same cultural references as most of the people I talk to. I’ve never watched Lost, Family Guy, True Blood (well, one episode), Jersey Shore, the housewives, and I don’t watch American Idol and Big Brother so I feel left out of many conversations.
14. 14. That as long as I live I will never be able to watch all the movies I want to see. That depresses me.
15. 15. Staight women at gay clubs. They get drunk and make huge fools of themselves. They hit on gay men. They try to make their straight boyfriends jealous by kissing or feeling up a gay man. They cause fights, and I’m so tired of them. There are some great straight girls, but the majority of them are a nightmare when they’re in the gay clubs. Every instance of violence at my local gay club has been caused by straight women. When we have the rare gay males only nights, there is never a fight and the police never show up. Women in gay clubs are the meanest drunks.