25 things I've never done.

1. I’ve never dated a pale or a dark-skinned person. My dates or boyfriends are usually the color of vanilla latte. My latest ex is biracial, and most of my boyfriends have been biracial or Spanish speaking. I prefer dark-haired and dark eyed men. Although, I would be open to dating a blond man. I say that to be politically correct, but I’m not sure it’s true. Is Paul Wagner a blond? I’d make an exception for him. I would however date a pale or a dark-skinned person. It’s the hair color that’s a sticking point.
2. I’ve never eaten a twinkie.
3. I’ve never gotten drunk. The most glasses I’ve had is 3.
4. I’ve never read The Scarlet Letter even though I lie to my professors and tell them I have.
5. I’ve never been to most states in the South.
6. I’ve never mastered geography. Is Florida part of the south? I’ve been there.
7. I’ve never figured out directions so east, west, north, and south mean nothing to me.
8. I’ve never gone a whole week where I have not talked to my family.
9. I’ve never been dumped by someone I’ve dated.
10. I’ve never learned how to swim. Cable showings of JAWS and ORCA put a stop to that. (see #17)
11. I’ve never seen a single episode of 24, LOST, or SEINFELD.
12. I’ve never been able to throw away issues of THE NEW YORKER, OUT, HARPER’S and GENRE magazines.
13. I’ve never cheated on a boyfriend.
14. I’ve never had any impulse control when it comes to shopping. I often buy to be buying.
15. I’ve never changed a tire or taken my car to the shop to get the oil changed. A boyfriend or my family have always done it for me.
16. I’ve never completely mowed a lawn. The one time I tried to mow the lawn I ran the mower over my foot. It took four months to get back to normal.
17. I have never gotten over my fear or sharks
18. I have never been able to stand people who feel the need to make everything into a joke.
19. I have never slept with a woman. I have never wanted to sleep with a woman.
20. I have never dated a bisexual, and I doubt I ever will.
21. I am never been able to forgive myself for hurtful things I’ve done to other people. I obsess about them long after the people I’ve hurt have forgotten about them.
22. I have never been able to tell my cat no when he wants to be held or petted even if I’m in the middle of something important.
23. I’ve never been able to sit at the computer for more than 10 minutes without getting up and pacing back and forth.
24. I’ve never eaten at home on a Friday.
25. I’ve never seen less than 100 films a year at the movie theatre.

Another round of irritating things said to me.

1. “Your call is very important to us. You’re the next in line to speak to a customer service representative. Estimated wait time: 4 minutes.” 30 minutes later, I’m still on hold waiting for a Time Warner CSR.
2. “It’s just sex.” That’s because you’re not doing it right.
3. “I don’t really drink.” Oh, really? Must have been someone else who lied about the number of drinks he had, vomited, dropped his car keys in the bathroom trash can, had to be helped out by me and the two owners, was too drunk to drive, and left me stranded with no way to get home. Yeah, you don’t really drunk, you pathetic piece of shit. Yes, I’m not angry anymore.
4. “I really don’t like wearing them. What if I just put the tip in?” What if I just knocked your teeth in?
5. “Did I wake you?” No, I only sound half-asleep when I’m wide awake. You’re calling me at 9AM. I don’t get up until noon. Do the math.
6. “Do you want to rent those?” No, I just came in to look around, grab dvds off the shelf, and show you the pretty covers.
7. “How are you?” We’re acquaintances. You don’t care how I am. I know you’re being polite, but don’t stop me to give an answer you’re not interested in hearing.
8. “Have you seen my wallet?” Does it look like I have a wallet detector up my ass?
9. “I’ll pay you back.” No, you won’t. You’ll make excuses for why you can’t pay me. You’ll avoid me and then you’ll blame me for being too controlling and money hungry.
10. “I’m often mistaken for straight. It’s so cool.” How great! Now for your next task, can you balance this ball on your nose?

A list of 12 annoying things said to me.

1. "Everyone's a little bisexual." Annoying because it's not true. All the research says otherwise.

2. "You don't know what it's like to have kids." No, I don't, but you do, and you're still allowing them to behave like assholes.

4. "What's your ATM card number?" Lady, the ATM machine ate my card. How the hell am I supposed to know my card number? Would you like me to try to climb inside the ATM a la Trainspotting and retrieve my card rendering this phone call completely useless?

5. "You don't think about anyone but yourself." This said by the family member who took 12 people out to dinner, and announced that he would pay for everyone but me since I had enough money to pay for myself. This relative later asked me to lend some money to buy "new rims." Needless to say, he didn't get the rims. BTW, no one in the family likes him.

6.  "You're so selfish." Said to me by the friend who expected me to pay for his dinner and got insulted when I told the waitress that it was separate checks for our group. Somehow, he had forgotten to bring his wallet even though he knew we were seeing three movies, going out to dinner, and stopping for coffee and then the cheesecake factory.

7. "Is this subtitled?" Grandfather, what part of "It's in Italian" makes you think the dialogue won't be in Italian?

8. "We still have time to discuss.." It's 7:30. It's hot and there's no air. No one gives a damn about Melville's The Confidence Man. Let us go home!

9. "Have you been coming to the gym?" No, I haven't been coming to the gym while you've been sick. I hired a trainer because I injure myself when I use the machines on my own. As my trainer, you know this. You've seen my hernia surgery scar. Why ask such a dumb ass question?

10. "Have you seen Wild Hogs?" Seriously!? Wild Hogs?? You've known me all my life. Have I ever shown any interest in a film like Wild Hogs? Do you think I'm secretly skipping out of a Jacque Rivette double feature to see Wild Hogs?

11."Do you go to Akron U?" I just handed you my university ID. You've seen me in the student center. I know Blockbuster doesn't encourage their employees to think, but come on!

12. "Have you watched all these films?" You just commented that most of my blu-rays/discs are still in the shrinkwrap. Don't you think that would be big clue that I haven't?

Questions about using Twitter

1. Should you feel guilty about not following someone who follows you?

2. Should you feel slighted when someone responds to your tweets, but never follows you even though he/she follows a lot of people?

3. When do you know to respond or not to respond? I never know if I've responded too much or if I'm meant to respond to something I don't think needs a response.

4. How long can you let a tweet go unanswered?

5.  When do you go from a tweet to a DM?

6. If someone you know follows you, and you know they won't like a lot of the content you tweet about, do you warn them or just them follow you?

7. When is it appropriate to go over 140 characters?

8. When does flirting on Twitter become obnoxious?

9.  Do you need to acknowledge a #FF?

10. If someone never acknowledges an #FF, do you continue to include them in your #FFs?

11. Why do people use these automated systems to get new followers? Don't you want people who follow you because they are interested in what you have to say?

12.  IF someone you know unfollows you, do you ask them why?

13. Is it ever acceptable to tell someone they are tweeting too much or tweeting about nonsense and he/she needs to stop?

Best and Worst of 2008

The top ten:
10. SUMMER HOURS
9. FLIGHT OF THE RED BALLOON
8. THE LAST MISTRESS
7. THE DUCHESS OF LANGEAIS
6. MY WINNIPEG
5. I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG
4. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
3. LORNA'S SILENCE
2. LOVE SONGS (GARREL)
1. A CHRISTMAS TALE

THE WORST FILMS (in no order):
STOP-LOSS
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
IRINI PALM
MOTHER OF TEARS
CASSANDRA'S DREAM
TRANSSIBERIAN
VANTAGE POINT
SMART PEOPLE
TROPIC THUNDER
BLINDNESS

MOVIES I ENJOYED/WOULD RECOMMEND:
UNDER THE BOMBS
THE POPE'S TOILET
WALTZ WITH BASHIR
THE WRESTLER
DOUBT
RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
LOSS
EINSTEIN AND EDDINGTON
THE WAITING ROOM
ASHES OF TIME REDUX
XXY
UP THE YANGTZE
SOOM (BREATH)
TELL NO ONE
THE CLASS
THEN SHE FOUND ME
FROZEN RIVER
THE DUCHESS
MAN ON WIRE
THE WITNESSES

Best and Worst of 2007

Best of 2007:
10. ONCE
9. DANS PARIS
8. MEMORIES OF TOMORROW
7. SYNDROMES OF A CENTURY
6. 4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS
5. NIGHT OF THE SUNFLOWERS
4. CHALK
3. PERSEPOLIS
2. LUST, CAUTION
1. THE LOOKOUT

WORST OF 2007:
YOUR MOMMY KILLS ANIMALS
DEDICATION
BECOMING JANE
KNOCKED UP
DESCENT
FLAKES
ALATRISTE
RESERVATION ROAD
LADY CHATTERLEY
GRAY MATTERS

Best and Worst of 2006

Top ten:
1. VOLVER
2. THREE TIMES (The 1966 segment)
3. BALLETS RUSSES
4. DEATH OF MR. LAZARESCU
5. 20 CENTIMETERS
6. BRICK
7. HOUSE OF SAND
8. OFF BEAT
9. DEAR WENDY
10. FROZEN LAND

Top Ten Worst/Disappointments:
AGNES AND HIS BROTHERS
ASK THE DUST
BABEL
CASINO ROYALE
DEATH OF THE PRESIDENT
DEPARTED
FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
MARIE ANTOINETTE
MIAMI VICE
SCOOP

FILMS THAT I WOULD RECOMMEND:
49 UP
DISTRICT B13
L'ENFANT
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
SCIENCE OF SLEEP
THE QUEEN
JESUS CAMP
SHADOWBOXER
THE TRAVELER
PAHELI
LA MUJER DE MI HERMANO
SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE
PAN'S LABYRINTH
WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?
GABRIELLE
HISTORY BOYS
NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE
TRISTAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY
SALVADOR
MONGOLIAN PING PONG
CLEAN

Best and Worst of 2005

2005:
Top Ten:
1. MYSTERIOUS SKIN
2. LOWER CITY
3. SEPARATE LIES
4. KEEPING MUM
5. JOYEUX NOEL
6. MAD HOT BALLROOM
7. CACHE
8. 2046
9. HIDDEN BLADE
10. MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS

Ten Worst (in no order):
DOT THE I
GUESS WHO
THE LIBERTINE
WHERE THE TRUTH LIES
THE INTERPRETER
MONSTER-IN-LAW
SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS
JARHEAD
MUNICH
The absolute worst: ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW

My Top ten list for 2004

2004:
 Top Ten:
1. BAD EDUCATION
2. THE LIZARD
3. GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING (saw it in 2004)
4. THE HOLY GIRL
5 FINDING NEVERLAND
6. SIMON
7. WILBUR WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF
8. TOUCHING THE VOID
9. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
10. Ae FOND KISS

Films I recommend:
MOOLADE
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
MARIA, FULL OF GRACE
DEATH IN GAZA
DIVINE INTERVENTION
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT (still surprised I liked this one)
SEX IS COMEDY
LES CHORISTES/THE CHORUS
INTIMATE STRANGERS
THE RASPBERRY REICH
VERA DRAKE
THE SEA INSIDE
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
FINAL CUT: THE MAKING AND UNMAKING OF HEAVEN'S GATE
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
THE MACHINIST (mainly for Bale's performance)
HOTEL RWANDA
Ae FOND KISS
TIME OF THE WOLF
EVERYDAY PEOPLE
THE DREAMERS (even if the film never lives up to its potential)
ANATOMY OF HELL
BRIEF CROSSING
SPIDER-MAN 2
DISTANT
SINCE OTAR LEFT
SPRING, SUMMER, FALL WINTER... AND SPRING
THE FIVE OBSTRUCTIONS
FREE RADICALS
SPRINGTIME IN A SMALL TOWN
COWARDS BEND THE KNEE
THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND
ON THE RUN/AN AMAZING LIFE/AFTER THE LIFE

10 Worst Films of 2004 (IN NO ORDER):
13 GOING ON 30
DIRTY SHAME
SUPER SIZE ME
THE GRUDGE
BEFORE SUNSET
COLD MOUNTAIN
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
BEING JULIA
NOEL
WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Movies that Disappointed because they should have been better:
SECRET WINDOW
LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
AVIATOR
CLOSER
DE-LOVELY
MONSIEUR IBRAHIM
ROSENSTRASSE
MEET THE FOCKERS
HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD (although Spacek's performance is Oscar worthy)
THE CARD PLAYER
SPANGLISH
CRIMINAL
SECRET THINGS
CRIMSON GOLD
CONTROL ROOM
YOUNG ADAM
BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS
HUMAN STAIN

Losing Passion for Writing

I sometimes feel like I’ve spent the last few years of my life writing about nonsense that doesn’t matter in the end. Research paper after research paper. Who besides my professor is going to give a damn about my paper on a villainess in an 18th century British novel? Does the following make you quiver in excitement:

Frances Burney creates many villainous and repellant characters in Evelina: Sir John Belmont, Captain Mirvan, Mr. Lovel, Sir Clement Willoughby, and Lady Louisa Larpent, but it is Madame Duval who emerges as the most hated character. The narrative continually abuses and humiliates her while the other characters save for Mr. Lovel emerge unscathed. Sir Clement Willoughby kidnaps Evelina, Captain Mirvan is a bully who delights in humiliating Madame Duval, terrorising his wife and daughter, and causing general mayhem, and Sir John Belmont abandons the mothers of both his children, but Madame Duval commits an unforgivable crime by being a lower class woman pretending to be a French aristocrat. The men can cheat, abuse, rob, kidnap, abandon children and mothers, but Madame Duval does not know her true place in society so she must be punished and contained within the narrative.

I thought not. Yet most of my energy is spent writing these sorts of papers. I enjoy some of them, but what is it going to get me? What will I get out of graduate school? Is it going to make me a better writer? Hardly. It’s made me a worse writer. I spend my time figuring out ways to do very little for that A. I usually wait until the last minute to write my 20 page research papers, and sometimes, I just use a paper I’ve already written, and I spruce it up for the current class. Graduate school has made me dread writing. I don’t have the passion for it that I once did. I envy those bloggers who can write 10 to 15 pages at a time. Writing has been a chore for the last few years that there is little joy anymore. I enjoy posting film reviews, and I sometimes enjoy ranting on topics of sexuality, but I wish I could recapture my love of writing. 

I miss being passionate about writing poetry or the soap opera I started writing in seventh grade. Only my sister read it, but it felt so good to create characters and plots. Not the same anymore. I must write a one page response paper every Monday; a 20 page seminar paper; 2 8 page papers, an annotated bibliography, a case study of a scholarly article. I do my damndest to put as little effort in as possible. I go to class and I dread every second of my Monday Melville class. I have no interest in Melville. Not even a chapter about sperm and circle jerking could interest me much. I have to write my response paper on a book I haven’t even opened up, and it’s due by Monday afternoon. And the thing is: I don’t care. As for this blog entry, 

Recent Films I've seen

Some recent movies I watched:

1. THE HURT LOCKER: I adore Bigelow's Near Dark. That movie is full of energy and quirky characters. It's a vampire movie with heart. THL has a fantastic movie in there somewhere, but the finished product is just such a mess. A good 40 minutes could be excised. The Ralph Fiennes segment slows down the film, and adds nothing to the narrative. Some of the acting by the minor characters is hammy and embarrassing. While the movie is tense and immensely gripping at times, nothing new is explored. I've seen films about men who feel safer in the pressure cooker of wartime fighting. Bigelow adds nothing to that. A real shame that the first female director wins for such a sloppy film especially in a year when Jane Campion directed the much better, Bright Star which was shamefully overlooked.

2. DILLINGER IS DEAD: Egads, this movie was awful. I have a thing for long films where nothing much happens, but this movie is D.O.A. There's no life to it. It's 90 minutes of Michel Piccoli walking around the house, making a meal, looking at home videos, and then we get some plot movement in the last five minutes which I won't spoil if you're masochistic enough to want to watch it. If I hadn't invited people over to see this film, I'd have stopped it 10 minutes into it. It's one of those films which critics bend themselves into verbal pretzels trying to explain the "deep meaning" of the "nothingness" in the film. What is said in the film would have been better served in a short film. Instead, 5 minutes of actual energy is overwhelmed by 85 minutes of self-indulgence. Some films are just pieces of shit. This is one of those films.

3.  The Leopard Man is a 1943 film directed by Jacques Tourneur who directed Cat PEople and Easy Living with Lucille Ball. It's a horror film about a leopard who escapes and starts stalking women. It's swiftly placed, has some nice scares, and a quirky sense of humor. The resolution is a bit of a letdown, but it's a small quibble. IF you like black and white horror movies from the forties, this is one to check out.

Our Heterosexual Portion of the Evening (Heterosexual Love/Sex films)

Continuing to our heterosexual portion of the evening. I'll now recommend some heterosexual love or sex films.

The first one has to be Betty Blue (aka 37°2 le matin). If you are not aroused by the first five minutes of this film, you have no pulse. The sex scenes are graphic and highly arousing. The film is about a slightly off kilter man who falls in love with a psychotic woman. It's directed by Jean-Jacques Beineix who also directed Diva, one of the best thrillers of the Eighties. While the director's cut of Betty Blue is nearly three hours long, it's also the most complete and it gives depth to the characters. Check out some of Beineix's other films as well. I've never been disappointed in any of his films. If nothing else, they are visually arresting.


The Piano Teacher: One of my favorite actresses is Isabelle Huppert. You can never go wrong renting/buying any of her films, but The Piano Teacher ranks as one of her best. It's the story of a piano teacher Erika, a sexually repressed woman still living with her shrew of a mother. She becomes obsessed with a new student played by Benoît Magimel. The two characters engage in a sadomasochistic sexual relationship. The film calls on Huppert to portray difficult emotional scenes, and she does it seamlessly. There is never a moment where she is not in character. She was unanimously voted Best Actress at the Cannes film festival.

In the Mood for Love: This a gorgeously film meditation on love and its complications. The cinematography, music, direction, and acting come together in a film that celebrates that indescribable feeling when two people fall in love. Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung Chiu Wai play the lovers, and they are fantastic at playing characters who have difficulty in expressing their love. The film is glorious to look at, and it just washes over you. It's one of those films that is all about the mood. There's a sequel, 2046 that is good, not nowhere near the masterpiece level of this film.

Gay or Bisexual (yes, I do watch bisexual films occasionally) films I recommend

Since I talk a lot about movies, I thought I'd write up some recommendations. Most of the films I watch are international so if you don't like subtitled films, best to leave now.

Gay or Bisexual (yes, I do watch bisexual films occasionally) films I recommend:

Les Chansons D'Amour: It's the story of a man's grief over a relationship ending. The film then goes in a very interesting direction. The film stars the yummy Louis Garrel as the grieving man. It's directed by Christophe Honoré who also did Ma Mere (with Huppert), Dans Paris, and Novo with the gorgeous Eduardo Noriega. The fluid sexuality depicted in the film feels realistic and never sansationalized. The characters are real and it's one of the few films where I see bisexuality taken seriously.

Presque Rien (Come Undone): Stéphane Rideau and Jérémie Elkaïm star in this film about a teeanger's first homosexual relationship. Moody music, lots of brooding, French people miserable, and hot sex scenes. My kind of film. I'm a sucker for French men in misery over tortured love affairs. Make sure to get the uncut version as the sex scenes should not be missed. Stéphane Rideau is stunningly beautiful and he's fully nude a lot for those that like that sort of thing. I'm above such carnal displays. Although he's straight, Stéphane Rideau has done a lot of gay-themed films. I recommend Sitcom, Full Speed, and The Clan/3 Dancing Slaves. He's also very good in the non-gay themed LOIN which you can get from the UK if you have a region free player.

Nighthawks and Strip Jack Naked:Nighthawks is one of the first explicit looks at a gay man's life. It charts his life through gay clubs, sex, his job as a teacher, etc. It's a very good film, and SJN is the sequel. The sex scenes are explicit for the time, but there is a lot of kissing which I like. I'm a sucker for passionate kissing. If you have a region free player, get the BFI combo release of both films. It'll be well worth it.

Un Chant D'Amour: This is a silent film by the writer Jean Genet. It's set in a prison, and it's all about longing for connection to another man. Highly sensual and suprisingly erotic for a film made in 1950. The film was not released theatrically until 1975. Genet uses a cigarette in such a sexually charged way that it almost made want to learn to smoke. Incredibly sensual film. This webpage http://tinyurl.com/ykv2hxw has a review of all of the available editions, and it has images from the film where you can get an idea of how Genet uses the cigarette.

More to come. I also watch straight films (hard to imagine, I know) so I'll be writing up some recommendations later tonight.